"AND WITHOUT YOU IS HOW I DISSAPEAR"

i finally have the black parade is dead! wooohooo XD

i never thought they would get it here!! gahh yaaay  =P

hmm okies so this is another song i've written .. and well i really hope u like it, please comment =] thanks!                            

 

 

You're kidding, right?

 

 

 

Is this real?

Is that you?

I can't believe this

After all we've been through

You come back

Like nothing happened

And pretend to be okay

I don’t even know you anymore

Do you get to stay?

 

I don’t care anymore

I don’t even know what to feel

You hurt me so bad

And that’s all I know

 

I really don’t know what to do

I'm confused about you

I'm afraid that if I let you in you'd leave once more

And then id drown in my fears again (I'D DROWN)

I'm afraid of you walking out that door

Is this gonna be like before?

 

This makes no sense

Why are you here?

THIS MAKES NO SENSE

I don’t know what to say

Are you really here to stay?

 

I don’t care anymore

I don’t even know what to feel

You hurt me so bad

And that’s all I know

This is so surreal

But you're not tripping me again

I won't fall for this

Sorry hun, but you'll have to deal

Thanks for your time =]

hey.. well this is a short song i wrote on the way back home in the airplane and umm, tell me what you think okay?!

It took me 2 friggin months to move on coz i used to like this dude for a long LONG time .. and oh well.. i guess time heals pain..

 

Departures

 

 

You left me here

Now im all alone

And it hurts, it hurts to the bone

But I wont let it get to me

Because I wouldn’t trade what we had for the world

We crossed oceans together

And now im walking alone with my scar wide open

 

I regret nothing

There's nothing to deny

My feelings are out to the world

No one seems to care

This doesn’t kill me

Im not gonna die

 

What are you waiting for?

There's an open door

Time doesn’t wait for us

I've packed a change of clothes

We're better off apart

And its time to move on

 

I regret nothing

There's nothing to deny

My feelings are out to the world

No one seems to care

Do you see my wound?

Do you see red?

This doesn’t kill me

I'm not gonna die

But baby, you'll drop dead

Please comment  =]

*dances*

oh fuck! this is so awesome! everything is so effin great now XD yaaaaaay .. god! im so happy!

hmm .. sooo .. what do i have to say? well nothing really, im just so glad to be back home =D

I wanna be here .. but at the same time, i dont. its been 19 days now .. and im here in egypt with one of my closest friends.. and well i just feel so alone.. i know that im here with her .. but but i seriously feel  alone. i really need to talk to someone .. and i know that my friend would listen but i dont think that she would get it. it really sucks. its been 2 days now.. since ive felt like this, like crap. And i just wanna escape, i wanna be alone for a lil bit but i cant do anyting here >_<

maybe i should runaway. meh.

i know that tomorow will come and ill feel the same.. i dont really like being a pessimist but idk its just getting to me. i feel so alone. *hugs*

And the best part is that no one gets it. perfect.

 

-Burn

You welcome me to your life

You treat me well but dress in disguise

Without me knowing, you were actually grabbing a sharp stabbing knife

Just waiting for the moment to release your vexation and then the love dies

Like gasoline with fire you burn in my eyes now.

 

I loved you

You only hurt me

And I always let you

You gave up on me so easily

I will not sit here and wait for you

You never cared for me, and never gave a fucking shit

Like gasoline with fire you still burn in my eyes.

 

You threw everything away

Now we are apart and never to be

The memories will never leave me

You'll always be in my heart

It all slipped away

I tried eluding reality, tried going back to the start

But it's all fallen apart now; you closed your blinds on me

Like gasoline with fire you'll always burn in my eyes.

 

You burn

You burn in my eyes now

You burn

Ill fucking leave you alone

You burn….

 

 

 

hmm.. so let me know what u think .. i wrote this .. its a song.. hehe .. its how im feeling only im not so violent! okay !

i would REALLY like to know what all of you think so please comment.  

 

Sick

'I cannot go to school today, ' Said little Peggy Ann McKay. 'I have the measles and the mumps, A gash, a rash and purple bumps. My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, I'm going blind in my right eye. My tonsils are as big as rocks, I've counted sixteen chicken pox And there's one more-that's seventeen, And don't you think my face looks green? My leg is cut-my eyes are blue- It might be instamatic flu. I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke, I'm sure that my left leg is broke- My hip hurts when I move my chin, My belly button's caving in, My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained, My 'pendix pains each time it rains. My nose is cold, my toes are numb. I have a sliver in my thumb. My neck is stiff, my voice is weak, I hardly whisper when I speak. My tongue is filling up my mouth, I think my hair is falling out. My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight, My temperature is one-o-eight. My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear, There is a hole inside my ear. I have a hangnail, and my heart is-what? What's that? What's that you say? You say today is...Saturday? G'bye, I'm going out to play! ' -Shel Silverstein

i found this poem cute .. hehe .. although im really not interested in poems. like, at all.

He was an American poet, songwriter, musician, composer, cartoonist, screenwriter and author of children's books.

Silversteins (the band) name was taken from the famous  Shel Silverstein.

Shel Silverstein ~Sep 25, 1930 -- May10, 1999~

gahh i <3 silverstein! .. the band .. lol ..

heyyyy .. i arrived yesterday.. eeeekk .. yeah i know who would wanna go to egypt .. but im with my friends =P hehe .. so its gonna be fun .. but at first i was like why the fuck am i here .. its just sooo different than what im used to .. but now i actually like it, its nice. there's lots to do ..
hmm .. well this means im not gonna be able to come so much on buzznet and reply to all of u .. so ull have to excuse me.. and im not even using my laptop .. im using my friends ... so generous of her.. coz MY EFFIN LAPTOP WONT CONNECT TO THE STUPID CONNECTION!!!! i just wanna stab my laptop .. meh meh meh .. gahh i wont let it get to me .. although it did .. and i almost hit someone .. lol jk XD hah .. but yeah i was pissed ..
and omfg .. the guys here .. wtf !! they wont leave u alone .. they'd flirt with u wherever u go !! WHEREVER! it gets annoying .. and its not that i wouldnt like a guy hitting on me .. its just that the hit on who ever passes !! Wtf .. it deosnt even make u feel special.. ive been here only yesterday and im sick of the flirting .. gahh .. its like 7 dudes flirted with me until now .. meh meh .. Geezerrrrzz ... and i feel like im over dressed .. gahh .. everyone looks at u .. BUT IM NOT !!  i swear .. when i where like this  at home or somewhere in europe .. they dont look at me like this .. its not my fault they dont dress well .. meh .. its like they'd where pj's and walk down the street .. wth .. see.. meh .. its not me!!! im not over dressed .. gahh ..
is this too long ?
sorrehh ..
im here at cinnabon .. they have a wireless connection .. so yeah and the wire at home isnt working .. so .. yeahhh .. ill try to come on buzznet as much as possible .. but idk if i could reply to all of u .. excuse me..
*HUGS*
i lubbeerrrzzz you =P

and for the ppl who dropped me notes ..

im sorry for not replying .. im just passing through a rough time and i do read the notes but i just cant reply .. i hope ur all doing fine ... bahaha .. *smothers self*

if u really wanna tell me sth and its imp just send me a message .. so id know its imp .. heh ..

gahh .. idk if its me or not but after my friend lied he stopped talking to me .. JUST LIKE THAT ! i know its not me !! its just him !!! and his lies .. meh .. and i have to suffer .. i bet he isnt even thinking about me .. im sorry ur probably dont wanna hear about my problems ..

hmm .. well im  traveling next week ... im  going to egypt on the 1st of july .. its not my choice if it were mine id go to europe .. but im going with my friends so im hoping that it'll be fun .. i think im gonna come on buzznet .. soo .. what else is going on ? hmm .. oh well .. i love u all  *hugs*

thank you for reading ^^

im sorry i havent been on so much its just im having some difficulites .. lol .. and i lost a person as a friend and umm i think this is gonna be hard on me, but ive been lied to. i should be stronger! im trying to be strong. im sorry about not replying, im just not in the mood to go on buzznet.

*hugs* i miss you sweeties :p i hope ur all doing fine. and if there is sth u wanna tell me .. do so .. coz i might pop in. im not leaving .. im just idk too lazy to reply, thats why im apologizing. 

love you all =]

 

OMFG .. I SO FUCKING MISSED BUZZNET ! IM SORRY FOR TYPING LIKE THIS BUT IM SO HAPPY MY COUNTRY UNBLOCKED IT !!! *SQUEEZY HUG*  =DDD gahhhh .. talks to mehh .. lets reconnect xD lol .. bahahahahha .. yessss =DDDD .. am very happy right now !!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .. heheheh .. <33333 love ya all ^^

i dont know what to say =/    i feel bad .. very bad .. and i cant find the explination to it !! i have exams right now .. effin exams .. i just wanna get done with them .. and i feel empty .. idk why .. and  i feel  alone .. but i have all these amazing people around me who would listen .. but i just dont know what to do  !! this sucks .. eh ... i always feel like crying which sucks .. trust me .. and my mom isnt talking to me .. for a really silly reason .. and i just dont get why she's being like this .. ive never seen this side of her .. why why why ?!?! *cries* eh .. shit !!! this is the last thing i need .. eh .. i feel so alone =[    i rly need a hug ='[     *hugs hugs hugs hugs*

 

oh wait .. and i forgot to metion this ! i feel like a big pile of fat !!!! eh .. ive been losing weight .. but the more i lose the more i feel fatter ! wtf  is wrong with me !!

 From First To Last - Ride The Wings Of Pestilence

Hiding behind the shadows
I'll be waiting in the dark
to drive this blade straight through your heart
I'll drag your body to the car
as blood races down my arm
I think everyone will wonder where you are (tonight)

I'll hide you in my walls
your body will never be found
I'll wear your skin as a suit
Pretend to be you, your friends will like you more than they used to

Dear diary my teen angst bullshit has a body count (count)
I believe it's 6 going on 7 now (7 now)

I've been dreaming about you
in a pool of your own blood
with your eyes gouged out
by the work of my thumbs
the scent of your insides
from under the floorboards
the perfect perfume
for settling a score.

I'll hide you in my walls
your body will never be found
I'll wear your skin as a suit
Pretend to be you, your friends will like you more than they used to
Pretend to be you, your friends will like you more than they used to

Ride the wings of....
Ride the wings of....
Ride the wings of....
Ride the wings of pestilence!
Ride the wings of pestilence!
Ride the wings of pestilence!
Ride the wings of pestilence!
Ride the wings of pestilence!
Ride the wings of pestilence!
Ride the wings of pestilence!
Ride the wings of pestilence!

(omg i love these lyrics!! this song is so good .. i no its old but i cant get over the lyrics !! )

smthn happend to my very close frnd of mine in school today .. i dnt no wat .. coz i wasnt there .. but she immediately went home .. then to the doctor .. he told her that  she cant play, run .. jump .. even laugh .. its very hard for me .. its never happend to any of my frnds ever before .. and she is gonna hav a heart operation soon .. it made me thnk twice bout wat i hav now(my life) .. its rly rly hard and for me but no one gets me, no one even tries to .. if u understand wat im going through plz help me or jst talk to me .. i jst cried my eyes out .. not only that .. i cried my eyes out infront of my mom and sisters and my brother .. but i dnt care .. i rly hope she feels much better soon .. ='''''[

plz i rly need this for tomoro .. so plz reply bak to me as fast as fast can be =]

how much do u know about global warming ?
a-i dont know and i dont care
b-i know a little but im not helping in any way
c-i know a little and im trying to help
d-i know a alot about it and im helping in all the ways i can!



thnk u for doin this for me ^^


lovesyou ^^

i had a dream yesterday , it wasnt exactly a nightmare .. but i hated that dream .. ok it was a nightmare .. MCR were gonna get on a plane .. but it was gonna crash nd somehow i new .. the used were also gonna die .. (the best thing in this nightmare is that i got to c mcr .. haha ! lol) anyway .. i wanted to tell them to not get on that plane .. *but my mom wakes me up for school.. but i stay half asleep .. * so i finaly reech mcr nd wen i do .. i wake up be4 i can warn them !!

i hate those kinds of dreems .. the thing that sux the most  is if my mom werent wakin me up i would've told them .. but i wake up jst b4 i can .. this soo sux!!

nd i took it all on my sis .. coz her skirt was short .. lol .. i dnt no y .. smthn got to me .. lol

='[ i hope they ddnt die !!

Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a tshirt that barely covers anything?

Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

Isn't it funny that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone?

Are you laughing?


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Isn't it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

Isn't it funny that you don't mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing



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It's so funny that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

Isn't it funny that you can call emos, punks & goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart?

HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OR LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS???

Keep on laughing



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Isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life
without knowing her situation with her friends?
or her family?
or her LIFE?



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BRAVE ISNT GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING
BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH
OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND



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BRAVE IS

GOING TO SCHOOL ON NON-UNIFORM DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WHORES AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES!

IT'S LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT!

IT'S GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET!

IT'S KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS!

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISN'T A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE!

IT'S ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGING RUMORS!




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Keep on laughing

If you agree put this on your journal

And advise others to do so

BE UR OWN !!